I Have NO Idea What "Normal" Is or What I Am to Do in My Life Outside of the Drug Life Style

I Have NO Idea What "Normal" Is or What I Am to Do in My Life Outside of the Drug Life Style

When your life is chained in drugs, it is impossible to imagine life without it. When life consists of getting from one hit to the next, hanging out with like-minded people, staying up 'chillin' all night doing tweaker things, and either isolating yourself or be involved with constant major drama, paying bills, eating dinner, and driving to work looks undesirable.

I do not consider the life I had the one year I was sober between drug sessions 'normal'. I went from one serious relationship to my next serious relationship (with a few boyfriends in between); I got a stable job after bartending at a few dive bars for a couple of months, and moved houses four times that year. I was drinking and smoking a lot of pot, and unfortunately, that next serious relationship (with Jack) bought meth BACK into my life. In fact, I found myself back in a crowd that all were on meth and I was the loner (part of the reason I could justify falling 'off the wagon' and starting my second drug session). I got my first tattoo bent over a kitchen table, and had no working relationship with God. No, life was unhealthy and disorganized and that lined me up for relapse after a year without meth.

After quitting meth the second time, 'normal' life for me consistent of moving states twice, getting married, four jobs, two sons, a bachelor's degree, and my closest relationship I've ever had with God. Of course, it's not all smooth sailing; conflict and broken-hearts line my road but that's what makes you who you are! 'Normal' life consists of taking care of responsibilities, building your credit score, seeking jobs that you find fulfilling, continuing education for better jobs, relationships, parenting – of course, not in that order. Normal life should have its up and downs and it's all easier to deal with when you have a working relationship with God.

How do you start feeling 'normal'? If you are struggling with feeling 'normal', it's time to get up, get dressed, turn the TV off, make a list every day of things that you can accomplish and get moving. If you've been wrapped in drugs so long that you are not sure who you are, there are lots of free online personality tests that help you with remembering what your interests are. Get involved in something. Put yourself in a situation where someone depends on you (walking someone's dog or making coffee at the NA meeting). Become dependent in small things and build trust with the people around you. Put away anything that compromises any opportunities; alcohol and marijuana only impede you and does not help at all in building a new life. You may feel that you deserve a drink at least after leaving meth just to make you feel better but I promise that you are leaving the door open for backsliding, and when you wake up the next day with a roaring headache, you are not going to feel like taking care those responsibilities that will lead you to a normal life. Do not underestimate yourself, instead, focus on getting stronger. Drink lots of water! Eat healthy! Start exercising! Dwell on things that you would like to do or accomplish. Start setting yourself goals! Time will pass, the scar will heal, and soon you will be living your new 'normal' life and not even realize it.

There are so many reasons why 'normal' life is way better than the drug life. First, being paranoid about being caught with drugs is gone and that's huge! If you have a fantastic job opportunity presented to you, you can walk in and happily give your sample head to your first day with confidence. There will always be some conflict in relations but the crazy tweaker fighting is gone; leaving the two of you work things out instead of clawing each other to death. You can answer the phone again instead of avoiding bill collectors and concerned family members. Knowing that your money is going to support you and the family instead of into a bowl and up in smoke is a major sense of satisfaction. It is rewarding having relationships around you where you can freely ask for help and people trust you to keep your word. The routine of day-to-day life is secure and predictable – leaving all the craziness to vacations and holidays.

I KNOW when you are living in the drug world and made in the mess of addiction, 'normal life' seems unattainable. The world is going on and you seem stuck on the side of the road with a chain wrapped around your waist keeping you from joining. Finding God will release that chain. Rediscovering you will open doors to meet healthy people and find enjoyment in healthy activities. Relationships around you will grow and start sprouting. It's amazing but one day you'll look down and that chain of addiction that was so tightly wrapped around you will be replaced with arms of love and a promising future. Meth WILL leave a scar. You'll never forget but you can use that knowledge full circle to help someone else let go of the chain that binds them to a life with a dead-end.

Source by Carlee Walker

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